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CANCER PRAYER SUPPORT GROUP |
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A MERCY CENTER HEALING PROJECT
2nd and 4th Wednesdays 10:30 am – 12:00 noon 2010 Meetings Jan 13 and 27, Feb 10 and 24, Mar 10 and 24, Apr 14 and 28, May 12 and 26, June 9 and 23 Summer Break: July and August 2010. Meetings will resume mid September 2010. Who Are We?
Cancer Prayer Support Group is an ecumenical Christian group for men and women who have or have survived cancer, and for their support persons.
We begin by checking in with each other. New members are encouraged to tell the group about their cancer and its treatment. All feel free at any time to talk about feelings and changes in their medical state.
The meeting is an hour and a half in length. After check-in we read scripture and pray together. The leader chooses scriptures which focus on healing and trusting in God. After shared reflections on the scriptures, we spend twenty minutes in silent prayer, conclude with petitions and the Lord’s Prayer.
In general, we spend very little time talking about cancer itself and even less time talking about treatments. It is a prayer group, not the usual cancer group, and we are encouraged to seek spiritual as well as physical healing.
Apart from the times we meet for sharing and prayer, we give additional support through phone calls, accompanying members to medical appointments and praying daily for each other.
The Cancer Prayer Group is coordinated by Liz Lawhead. Sr. Lorita Moffatt, RSM will provide additional support to this program. There is no fee, but donations are gratefully accepted.
For further information contact Liz Lawhead. Phone: 650.340.7445; Email: cancerprayer@mercywmw.org
ARTICLE ABOUT MERCY CENTER CANCER PRAYER GROUP By Liz Dossa
Brain cancer patient Ted Burroughs struggled to speak one morning in a sunny front parlor at Mercy Center in Burlingame. In a few minutes he would join the Cancer Prayer Support Group which has met weekly at the Center since 1994. The tall 45-year old sat in a wheelchair as a result of the paralysis which had begun to affect both sides of his body. Ted’s head was swollen and scarred from surgeries, the signs of his four-and-a-half year fight with the disease. When he spoke, he spoke in paragraphs, like the Ph.D. in philosophy that he is. “I come to the prayer group because it gives me a chance to quiet my mind,” he said finally. “Through that self-emptying I feel I become most available to the presence of the mystery of God. This I believe is as close to transcendence as anything I can ever experience.”
Members of the Cancer Prayer Support Group
Several years ago, intrigued by what Mercy Center had to offer, the former teacher and technical writer began calling Center director Suzanne Buckley to discuss the programs. One day his call was less theoretical. He asked if he could come to the Cancer Prayer Group. He had received his diagnosis. “Dealing with his cancer has become his faith journey,” said Buckley. Suzanne values the prayer group so highly that Mercy Center offers them space and a leader without charge. “The group carries out the mission of Mercy Center by providing a place for people to touch the Divine and then be of service to others,” she said.
The gathering is a source of reassurance for those who come for the Wednesday morning sharing which is followed by Scripture reading and meditative prayer. Group members range from those in their 30s to 70s and are in various stages of their struggles, often able to give each other advice about dealing with chemotherapy, nausea and trial drugs. They have a time and place to voice fears and frustrations to people who understand.
They also have a place to view their often bleak problems with a sense of humor. On a Wednesday in September a young woman whose breast cancer was diagnosed seven years ago looked stylish with her hair piled in a blond swirl on her head. “The doctor is giving me a new drug, and I don’t have to lose my hair,” she said. “And I’m tan.” She smiles. “If I’m going to be sick, I’m also going to be tan.”
Mercy Associate Cathy Collins, a spiritual director and retreat leader, guided the group for a year, following staff members Sister Lorita Moffatt and Catherine Regan who took over the group from founder Sister Mary Celeste Rouleau. [The group is currently led by Liz Lawhead.] This morning after reading Mark’s story of the healing of Jairus’ daughter, Collins led the group through gentle prayer and into silence. After the prayer concluded the group went for lunch together in the Mercy Center dining room. They have gone on retreats together, played bocci ball and regularly shared a corned beef and cabbage feast.
Widows and widowers often come for support after their spouses die. “It’s a great comfort, “said Mary Fabian, a cancer survivor whose husband Ed died last year of cancer. She comes as a ministry to those in the midst of the disease. “It’s wonderful to be with like-minded people, to connect with others,” she said. Mary’s practicality helps to ground the group. She listens attentively to others telling their stories at the beginning of the session. As a former nurse, she’s heard a lot of it before. “People say that cancer is a gift. That’s true, but it comes in a very ugly package, she said wryly.”
The group began as a result of Mercy Sister Mary Celeste Rouleau’s diagnosis of lymphoma in 1994. While she lay in intensive care in Peninsula Hospital, Reverend Charles Kaldahl, a Lutheran minister, came to visit her. He sat and prayed with her. As he left, he asked the nurse on duty if he could visit the next day. “Yes, but I doubt she’ll be here,” said the nurse. But Sister Mary Celeste had drawn strength from Reverend Charles and their prayer together. She not only survived the night, she and Reverend Kaldahl began the ecumenical prayer group to nourish others suffering with cancer. She continued leading the group until 2006, two years before she died.
Celeste taught the group Centering Prayer, a pattern of sitting quietly, emptying the mind with the help of a focusing word, such as “Abba” or simply “Jesus.” Ted’s faith life gradually changed as adopted this practice. Three years ago sponsored by Sister Celeste, he was confirmed a Catholic in the Mercy Motherhouse Chapel.
“What I have come to believe is that through the regular practice of Centering Prayer and meditation,” he said with effort looking back on his time with the group. “If you can get the ego out of the way, God will do the work for you, and you will be transformed from within. I never understood that before I came here and met Sr. Celeste.”
Members don’t expect a cure from coming to the group, but they do look for healing. Cindy Smerdel, who was diagnosed with the rare adrenal carcinoma nine years ago, has had a number of surgeries and painful recoveries. “There are different kinds of healing,” she said. “ All of us want to be healed from our cancer, but we don’t all get that. Healing can be mental, spiritual, emotional and even physical. Once we realize how much love God has for us, we can forgive ourselves. We can heal. That is the big block.”
All the members both give and receive as their energies wax and wane. Adele Dunnigan, a nurse diagnosed with breast cancer in 1995, has fought her way through debilitating surgeries and drug trials with spirit, always managing to visit others, make phone calls and accompany fearful people to doctor’s visits armed with her knowledge. She recently had more surgery, and others in the group have turned to support her with prayers, calls and visits. Collins has great respect for the courage of the members. “The group is a mix of people in remission and people just diagnosed. Cancer is the common thread. Really it is marvelous to behold. I’m uplifted each week.”
Ted Burroughs died on October 9, a few weeks after he was interviewed for the story. His nephew Sean Weaver said, “Ted found a lot of peace with the prayer group and found a connection that he hadn’t found otherwise. He talked about being able to meditate, to center himself and think about his life in a way he hadn’t been able to before. He reconciled a lot of relationships during this time.”
What Cancer Cannot Do
A meditation used by the Mercy Center Cancer Prayer Support Group
Cancer is so limited—
It cannot cripple love. |
